


fridays

by naktoms



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, M/M, Monsta X Bingo, background showyou, warnings for suicide mentions of self harm and character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-07
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-08-07 05:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7702528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naktoms/pseuds/naktoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Friday, Wonho watches someone die.</p>
<p>(<a href="https://realsweetvoice.wordpress.com/2017/04/30/transfic-fridays/">available in vietnamese!</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	fridays

**Author's Note:**

> *deep inhale* i've been working on this for only three days and it occurred to me yesterday that deadline was... today... so i stayed up until almost 3 am finishing this + proofreading it  
> this is a blend of elements taken from groundhog day, life is strange, and madoka magica. the character death is repeated but not permanent. pls take the warnings seriously and protect yourselves!!  
> also: do not hesitate to ask me questions because i'm certain some parts of this won't make sense to everyone haha so never fear!
> 
> anyway. kudos + comments are appreciated!! hope u enjoy!!

On Monday, Wonho goes to class. On Tuesday, Wonho goes out with his friends for lunch. On Wednesday, Wonho studies for a test next week. On Thursday, Wonho takes an important exam. On Friday, Wonho watches someone die.

It is a spectacle, people crowded in the courtyard and staring up into the sky. There is someone standing on the roof of one of the residence halls, balanced on the edge. Some of the crowd are attempting to call the person down, telling them the usual drivel used to assuade jumpers; most gathered around are filming it, taking pictures and putting them on Twitter and Instagram.

Wonho watches with abject horror, hands holding tightly to the strap of his book bag and anxiety crawling around in his throat. He does not recognize the person atop the roof, unidentifiable due to the sunshine backlighting them, but he does not want to watch them die.

In spite of this, he finds himself unable to look away when the person sways forward, heart jumping into his throat when their feet slide on the lip of the roof. They fall, and a gasp of fear rises from the crowd, those closest to the building stumbling backwards so they don’t have to see. Wonho watches, eyes following the body plummeting to the ground for the few seconds that it takes. He can hear the sickening crunch from where he stands, at the rear of the crowd. His vision turns black.

 

Wonho wakes up and he is in his bed. It takes him a few moments for the day’s events to catch up to him, but when they do he sits bolt upright, heart thudding. Someone killed themselves, and he watched it happen, and--

Wonho hurriedly checks his phone, looking at the school’s social media and website to see if anything has been posted, but all that meets his eyes is a reminder of the upcoming basketball game tonight and some editorials written by the journalism majors. Right before he switches his display off, his eyes catch the date in the upper lefthand corner.

_Monday, November 7th, 2016._

Wonho presses the power button again, staring aghast at his lockscreen. His phone must be messed up, and he hadn’t noticed it, the date stuck on earlier this week. But-- he glances up at the calendar on the wall and sees that Monday is the only day that his roommate has crossed out for this week. He sees that a reminder for his science exam is written on Thursday’s slot. He can’t breathe.

He gets out of bed, peeking into the bathroom and seeing that his roommate, Hyunwoo, is brushing his teeth. Hyunwoo meets his eyes in the mirror and half-waves, smiling around the toothbrush.

“Hey, Hyunwoo,” Wonho says kindly, masking the quiver in his voice as best he can. “What day is it?”

Hyunwoo spits out a mouthful of toothpaste, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “Monday, the, uh… 7th? Why?”

Wonho swallows hard. “No reason, I just forgot. Y’know, just woke up and all.”

Hyunwoo nods, then goes back to brushing his teeth. Wonho retreats back to the living space, dragging a hand down his face. _Was I dreaming? Did I just have the most horrible dream of my life and none of that happened?_

He made a 92 on his science exam. The results came in Friday morning.

He looks down and sees that he’s wearing pajamas, threadbare and worn. His hands are shaking, so he closes and opens his fists a few times, trying to steel himself before Hyunwoo comes out of the bathroom. _This is a dream. Or_ that _was a dream. Or a hallucination. I was tired today, right, maybe that was it._

Maybe it would be easy for Wonho to convince himself of this, except for the fact that Hyunwoo wears the same plaid button-up and jeans that he wore on Monday, and that the same girl that always makes puppy dog eyes at Wonho happens to bump into Hyunwoo at the same exact place on campus, and that the professor teaches something Wonho already knows. He knows because he took notes during class, notes that are still in purple and red ink in his notebook, that he read at the start of class.

Wonho feels like he needs to throw up.

Still, he goes about his day as normal. He doesn’t know how he would even begin to explain this-- _I watched someone die on Friday, no not last Friday,_ this _Friday, and now it’s Monday again_? Nobody would ever begin to believe that. Someone would probably report him to the administrative office for being inebriated on campus. He feels sick for the rest of the day, an uneasy feeling resting in his stomach, but he hopes that this is indeed just a dream, or a hallucination, or… whatever.

 

Wonho wakes up the following morning and immediately checks the date. _Tuesday, November 8th, 2016._ He sees Hyunwoo sitting up in bed across the room and thinks about telling him, because even if it was some hairbrained dream, dreams aren’t supposed to feel that real, right? The lingering effects of dreams aren’t supposed to stick around this long, right? Because Wonho can still recall the crunch of bone on cobblestone and the gasps of the crowd, and it shouldn’t be that easy, right?

In the back of Wonho’s head, something is telling him that everything he witnessed Friday is real, and that there is a reason he saw it. It makes the uneasy feeling hanging over him even heavier.

He skips on plans, to his friends’ dismay, but he claims he wants to study for his science exam. In reality, he curls up in bed and thinks, thinks about why he’s reliving this week, thinks about the possibility of someone having slipped him some drugs. Maybe _he’s_ the one that’s dead, and he’s reliving this week in purgatory. Maybe he cracked his head open on the cobblestone just like the jumper. Maybe he can find the jumper’s soul here in purgatory, too.

Maybe his cheese has finally slid off his cracker. He’s gone mad, envisioning things that never happened. This is probably a symptom of some mental illness, right? Claiming that events happened before in an elaborate deja vu, even though Wonho has the proof right there?

_What the fuck is wrong with me._

 

Wonho makes a checklist of the things he thinks he did this week, down to the minute details. It’s mostly mental, for fear of someone finding it in his notebook and thinking he really is insane. It is now Wednesday, and Wonho knows that he will go to Subway with Hyunwoo for lunch and stay inside the rest of the day studying, while Hyunwoo goes on a date with Jihyun from his photography class. He knows that his mom will text him at around 9 in the evening, and he will forget to respond until the following morning because he passed out on his textbooks.

The day plays out as it should down to the fibers making up Hyunwoo’s graphic tee. It still makes Wonho feel sick when he notices.

Thursday is similar. He thinks he might do better on his science exam this time, because he remembers what questions he messed up on, but nonetheless he is still sitting in his same assigned seat in the same science hall, taking the same test, surrounded by the same people. His mind wanders aimlessly, preoccupied in a hazy kind of way with the predicament he is now in. Maybe he’s been gifted with the power to see the future, or something, and he just had a vision of Friday. So maybe it’s something that he needs to stop. Maybe he needs to try and locate the jumper, even though there’s no way of knowing who it was. Maybe the universe has placed this responsibility on his shoulders because the person was some, uh, top secret alien agent.

Wonho gives himself a headache. He turns his test face-down and lets his gaze wander to those sitting around him, studiously working on their own exams, some chewing their lips in thought or gritting their teeth in frustration. His eyes fall on one who is also looking around the room, a man with a soft face and a half-lidded gaze. The man smiles when their eyes meet and Wonho finds himself unable to look away.

The professor calls time on the test a few short minutes after, and comes to collect the tests. Wonho knows his score will be somewhere in the vicinity of a 40 this time. He has a brief thought of _there’s always next time_ and it scares him. He doesn’t want to redo this week again.

Wonho sleeps in on Friday, which is something he did not do last week. This causes him to be late for his history class, which causes him to be late to lunch with Hyunwoo and his maybe-girlfriend Jihyun, which causes him to be late getting back to his dorm.

Wonho sees the crowd across the courtyard and feels his blood run cold. He wets his lips nervously, approaching the fringes quietly and working his way through the thick of it to get a good look. He wants to know who it is, who jumped, who is dead on the ground before the student body.

Wonho gasps, silently, when his eyes fall upon the bloodied face. It is the man he shared eye contact with yesterday, in science. If Wonho thinks hard enough, he can remember the man’s lips curving in a smile, kind in a temperate sort of way.

Wonho makes note of the time, displayed by the clock in the square (5:43 PM), and then blacks out.

 

Wonho wakes up in his dorm. He takes a deep breath, and checks the date.

_Monday, November 7th, 2016_.

He can’t stop himself from crying. He doesn’t understand, though it is beginning to make itself clear. Why is it his responsibility to keep this man from killing himself? He’s never even talked to him, barely noticed his presence during science. He doesn’t know what age he is, or what year he’s in, or what his name is. Why is it Wonho’s job to save a stranger?

Hyunwoo emerges from the bathroom to find Wonho curled up in bed, sobbing into his hands. He sits down gingerly on the edge of the bed and touches Wonho’s shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

Wonho shakes his head, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. “It’s-- it’s nothing, I just, I had a bad dream. I’m sorry, it’s okay, I’m fine.”

Hyunwoo hums, seemingly unconvinced, and rubs Wonho’s back soothingly. Wonho pats his knee in response, a silent thank you, and then pulls the covers up over his head.

“Do you want me to tell the professor you don’t feel well?” Hyunwoo asks, still keeping his hand on Wonho’s shoulder. Wonho nods, mumbling an affirmative, and Hyunwoo rises from his bed. “‘Kay. Feel better soon, okay?”

From then on, the rest of the day goes similarly to the previous two times. Hyunwoo gets back and shares a recap of class and his notes, then they go out for lunch. They’re walking back to their dorm, ready to settle in so Hyunwoo can watch that drama on Netflix he likes so much and so Wonho can most likely philosophize about his current situation some more, when Wonho catches someone’s eyes from across the courtyard.

Hyunwoo is talking animatedly about his photography class, so when Wonho splits off he is rightfully confused, yelling a, “Wait, where are you going?”

“Sorry, I forgot-- uh, I forgot that I needed to do something!” Wonho calls over his shoulder, walking hurriedly across the space to the man sitting down on a bench looking at him curiously. Wonho stares for a long moment, maybe a little awkwardly. This man is recognizable now. Wonho forgets to speak.

“Can I help you?” The man asks eventually, a small smile on his face.

“Oh! Uh, no, I just- I see you around sometimes and I wanted to, uh, I wanted to introduce myself.” Wonho smiles nervously as the other man blinks lazily at him. "I'm Wonho. You?"

"Hyungwon," the man says, the corners of his mouth curving in a smile. "Nice to meet you."

Wonho nods enthusiastically, and it occurs to him that maybe he's being a little too eager. This is probably strange to Hyungwon, but then again, Hyungwon doesn't _know_. "Well, uh, how- how are you?"

"I'm alright. Not looking forward to that science exam on Thursday, I haven't had time to study recently." Hyungwon pauses, then scoots over on the bench. "Wanna sit?"

Wonho thinks about Hyunwoo, no doubt wondering what the hell he's off doing. Then, he thinks about Hyungwon's pretty face smashed against the ground. "Sure," he says, sitting beside Hyungwon. "To be honest, I haven't studied at all for science, but that's just 'cause I've been too lazy."

"You make good grades in that class, though, don't you? Ms. Cho had your name on the corner of the whiteboard for a long time."

"I guess," Wonho replies sheepishly, having long forgotten about that. "I need to try harder, though. I'm, uh, majoring in engineering, though."

"Ah. I'm an art major, but sometimes I wish I'd gotten into something more technical. Art is a lot of trial and error, there's not a lot of solid routines you can learn." Hyungwon sighs, staring across the courtyard at nothing in particular. "I'm kind of scared that I won't meet deadline for my art critique or whatever. I've barely worked on my sketch."

"What, uh, what kind of art do you do?" Wonho asks carefully. He knows nothing about art, but he wants to keep the conversation going. He wants to be friends with Hyungwon.

Thankfully, Hyungwon indulges him. "Landscapes. Sunsets and mountain ranges and the like. It's easier than portraits in many ways, but also much more complicated, if that makes sense."

Wonho nods thoughtfully and opens his mouth to speak, but Hyungwon speaks first. "I think it's interesting, however," Hyungwon begins, shifting so he's facing Wonho, "that we both work with our hands, and make entirely different things. I suspect you're making 3D models and tinkering with mechanics, and I make skies and grasslands." Hyungwon pauses for a second, then smiles. "We both make beautiful things."

Wonho mulls over his words. He decides that Hyungwon is a very beautiful thing, too. "I guess so. That is interesting, huh?" He wets his lips almost nervously, then asks Hyungwon about his art critique, which proves to be a wise move; Hyungwon proceeds to spend quite some time detailing just how much _bullshit_ his art teacher requires of him, then doubling back and saying that it's expected and that he does need to do better, and then doubling back on that and saying that he's the best student in his class. He waves his arms around and looks anywhere but Wonho, and Wonho ends up watching Hyungwon's hands and tuning out what he says.

Hyungwon's hands are very thin, fingers long. Everything about him is thin, even the clothes he's wearing, and it makes him seem almost like a spectre. Maybe Wonho really is in purgatory.

Hyungwon stops short as Wonho is marveling over his grand gestures, pulling his phone out and checking it. "Ah, shit. My roommate wanted to go out for dinner, I should probably go or he'll kick my ass." Hyungwon puts his tote over his shoulder and stands, turning to Wonho. "It was nice speaking with you, I hope I'll see you around."

Wonho smiles, standing as well. "Me too. Good luck on that critique, by the way."

"Thanks. Good night!" Hyungwon begins walking away, waving over his shoulder. Wonho watches him go and feels his chest grow warm.

 

The following day, Wonho flakes on Hyunwoo, his maybe-girlfriend Jihyun, and Jooheon in favor of tracking Hyungwon down and asking him out for lunch. The only way he'll make any progress is by being bold, and this certainly is bold.

He finds Hyungwon speaking to someone, a lanky man with brown hair, and stands nearby to wait for them to finish their conversation. He might be bold, but he's not rude. Hyungwon notices him and smiles, giving him a half-wave and then saying something Wonho can't hear to his conversational partner. Hyungwon then walks over to Wonho.

"Hey, nice to see you. That's my roommate Minwoo, in case you were wondering," Hyungwon supplies.

"Ah, gotcha. I'm sorry if this is like, weird, but I- do you want to go somewhere for lunch?"

Hyungwon seems to think, glancing off to the side and then back at Wonho. “Depends, where do you want to go?”

“The on-campus grille is really good,” Wonho says, and again it occurs to him that he might be too excited. “Well, that is, if you like meat. If you don’t, that’s fine, we can go somewhere else!”

Hyungwon laughs behind his hand, and Wonho doesn’t know if that’s good or bad. “You’re acting like a middle school boy with a crush. It’s just lunch, calm down. _But_ , I’m fine with the grille, I’ve eaten there before. Do you want to go right now?”

“Oh, sure! I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

They walk across campus to the restaurant with little chit-chat, just a little _how are you today_ and _I’m doing okay, thanks_. Hyungwon seems more tired today, circles under his eyes a bit darker, and Wonho wonders if he’s not getting enough sleep, if he’s really feeling okay. He’s only got three days to find out.

They eat lunch in relative silence, thankfully not awkward. Wonho finds himself wanting to ask things he can’t, things Hyungwon couldn’t answer anyway. He can’t tell him why Wonho, a total stranger, is suddenly being all buddy-buddy with him, because how strange would it be to hear _oh, yeah, by the way, don’t kill yourself on Friday or this effort is all wasted_. Hyungwon seems to be a nice person, and Wonho wants to know what happened the previous two weeks, why he’s seen Hyungwon die twice.

But, he can’t, not yet, so he asks about Hyungwon’s art project and nothing more.

Wonho doesn’t see Hyungwon again until the science exam on Thursday, though they did exchange numbers and have texted back and forth a bit. It’s a repeat of the previous week: absent-minded eye contact from across the room, though this time Wonho knows he has aced the test. Hyungwon smiles at him, and Wonho smiles back, but Wonho feels like he has lost him.

Still, he texts him later and asks if he’s okay. Hyungwon replies that he is, and complete with a peace sign emoji. A few minutes later Hyungwon sends another text, reading _thank you for asking_.

Wonho knows he has not done enough, but he doesn’t know what else to do.

 

Wonho doesn’t leave his dorm room on Friday, citing stomach issues. Hyunwoo accepts it and goes on a maybe-date with his maybe-girlfriend and leaves Wonho alone. Wonho takes a nap a little bit after 5 p.m. and wakes up on Monday, again.

He decides to stand in the bathroom with Hyunwoo this morning, brushing his teeth in the morning for once instead of letting laziness take over. In between spits, he says, “I keep having this weird dream.”

Hyunwoo hums in acknowledgement, so Wonho continues. “I keep having a dream where this dude like, kills himself, and I feel like it’s my duty to save him. It’s been happening for a few weeks now.”

Hyunwoo finishes brushing his teeth and rinses his toothbrush out. “Sounds kinda weird. Do you think it’s symbolic or something?”

Wonho chuckles. “I dunno, dude. Maybe my brain’s just being weird. Succumbing to stress, and all that.”

“Maybe.”

“Hey, by the way,” Wonho says as Hyunwoo knocks back some mouthwash, swishing it around, “I think you and Jihyun are a great match.”

Hyunwoo chokes, hurriedly bending over to spit into the sink. He wipes his mouth, making eye contact with Wonho in the mirror. He suddenly looks very shy, cheeks coloring. “Do… do you really think so?”

Wonho nods, rinsing out his own toothbrush. “Yeah. She’s really into you, dude, you should ask her out. Like, properly I mean, not the whole _wanna get lunch with me and the bros_. No bros.”

Hyunwoo seems to think about this for a long time, staring thoughtfully at his own reflection. Wonho laughs and puts his toothbrush back into the holder, turning and leaving the bathroom.

He goes to class this time and tunes out the professor the entire time, staring up at the ceiling with his notebook open before him. There’s three weeks worth of notes on this class written on the pages.

He’s switched from thinking about the _why_ to the _how_ \-- as in, _how do I do this_. How is he supposed to get close to Hyungwon in five days? He can’t expect Hyungwon to be comfortable enough with him in such a short amount of time to divulge all the dirty details. Wonho can’t seem overeager, or he risks weirding Hyungwon out, but he can’t do nothing because then he’ll be stuck in the same loop, over and over, until he does something. And he’s really getting tired of this lesson about parabola.

He wishes it was easier to ignore the fact that his days are repeats. It’s not like it exactly bothers him anymore, since this is the fourth time he’s lived this same week, but he wishes his professor would at least phrase something differently, or that Jihyun would stop playing footsie with Hyunwoo under the table at lunch. Wonho vows to never take his varied Mondays for granted again after this. If he can ever get it to end.

He and Hyunwoo walk back towards their dorm, but this time Jihyun is walking with them, which is a welcome change. Maybe Wonho’s nudge this morning caused it; he wonders briefly what other things he could influence during this weird time loop.

In any case, he appreciates Jihyun now more than he ever did, and also vows to never take her presence for granted again. She’s talking up a storm about their photography project, which her and Hyunwoo are working on together. Wonho notes the adoring way Hyunwoo gazes at her and can’t help but smile.

Jihyun has to split off so she can walk over to her own residence hall, so then it’s just Hyunwoo gazing at his shoes in the same lovelorn way and Wonho scanning the courtyard free of Hyunwoo’s questions.

“Have you confessed your undying love to Jihyun yet?” Wonho asks, not looking at Hyunwoo.

“N… Not really? I think she knows I’m into her but we’re just… I dunno. Tiptoeing around it like children do. Why?”

“Ah, just wondering. I think I have something of a crush, and I wanted some friendly bro advice.”

Hyunwoo chuckles. “Sorry, no friendly bro advice here. But, I do encourage you to try. Take your own advice, yeah?”

Wonho nods. He sees Hyungwon sat on a bench, reading a book. “Yeah.”

 

Wonho decides to spend the rest of the week planning. In the back of his note-taking tablet, he brainstorms conversation topics and methods that would get Hyungwon to open up. He feels like a military tactician, reviewing his past failures and thinking of how to fix them. Fifth time’s the charm.

The notes last to the next repeat of Monday, of course. Wonho wonders if the universe is getting mad at him for lollygagging as he spots Hyungwon walking along the sidewalk on Monday morning, on his way to class.

“Excuse me,” Wonho says, and he purposely makes himself sound shy, somewhat scared. Hyungwon turns and looks at Wonho curiously. “This is probably very awkward and weird, since you totally don’t know my name, but I-- I like you, a lot, and I was wondering if you’d want to go out sometime?”

Hyungwon seems unaffected, and replies smoothly. “Maybe. I’m sure you already know my name, but what’s yours?”

“Wonho,” Wonho replies, and he feels like this wasn’t the best strategy. But, he’s got at least six more avenues he could take.

The week proceeds, and this time Wonho learns that Hyungwon has anxiety. It’s a simple clue, but he writes it down in the back of his notebook and looks at it on the following Monday. This time, Wonho takes a similar approach, but in more of a super-obvious-secret admirer sort of way; he leaves a note on blue stationery and lays it on Hyungwon’s desk in science, a seat that Wonho has memorized by now. Thursday is too late to act, but Hyungwon grins when he opens the letter and Wonho figures that it was worth it anyway.

 

Endless resets mean that Wonho has plenty of time to try all of his tactics until he finds one that works, except he doesn’t. Every repeat ends the same, with Wonho waking up on Monday, the 7th. He’s stopped checking the courtyard on Fridays by now because he just _knows_. Now, most Fridays he doesn’t even leave his dorm room, just stays curled up in his bed with the knowledge that he failed, again.

So, Monday morning, at the start of the fourteenth repeat of the same week, Wonho decides it’s time to try and tell the truth.

He waits until Tuesday, when he knows for certain that Hyungwon is free for a decent amount of time. Wonho has skipped on lunch with his friend group eight times now and he feels bad about it; another thing to add to his “never take for granted again” list. His explanation doesn’t sound good in his head, too disjointed and rambly, but still he sits down beside Hyungwon.

Hyungwon glances over at him, then, upon seeing Wonho looking at him intently, sticks a bookmark in his book and shuts it. “Can I help you?” he asks simply.

“Hi, my name is Wonho,” Wonho says, and he tries to sound as confident as possible when he follows up with, “and I need to tell you some very important things. Are you interested?”

“Well, if they’re important, I guess so. Hi, Wonho, my name is Hyungwon.” And this time, for the first time, Hyungwon extends his hand for Wonho to shake it. Wonho takes him up on it and maybe grips his hand a little too tight, a little too long. “What’s up?” Hyungwon asks, crossing one leg over the other and giving Wonho his full attention.

Wonho takes a deep breath, clasping his hands in front of him. “I want to start out with some kind of disclaimer, that it’s possible that I’m entirely crazy and I’ve been dreaming these past months up. I also didn’t plan well enough for this and I’m kinda desperate at this point, so I figured, hey, worth a shot!” He pauses to ensure Hyungwon is mostly following. Hyungwon’s expression remains even, interested, so Wonho continues. “I’ve seen you kill yourself quite a few times, and I know it’s happened more times than that but I just didn’t watch. You stand up there,” Wonho pauses to twist in his seat, pointing to the tall building behind him, “and you step onto the edge, and then you fall and smash your head into the ground. I’ve seen it, and I’ve tried to stop it, and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing at this point.”

This piece of information seems to ruffle Hyungwon a bit, as Wonho sees him swallow hard as he looks up at the residence hall behind them. Hyungwon slowly returns his gaze to Wonho, as Wonho continues. “I have tried twelve times,” Wonho says, and he ignores the way his voice shakes. “Twelve times, and each time I’ve failed. I’ve tried a different method almost every time, to try and get you to open up so I can find out what’s wrong and try to help, but it’s never really worked. And I’m just-- I’m _sorry_.”

Hyungwon stays silent, presumably waiting for Wonho to speak more. When Wonho doesn’t, Hyungwon sighs. “I agree, this does sound absolutely fucking crazy,” he says, and Wonho’s heart leaps into his throat. “But, let’s pretend it’s not, and it’s happening. What do you know about me from these twelve attempts? Because right now, to me, you’re a stranger, so tell me something you shouldn’t know.”

“You have anxiety,” Wonho says, voice still shaking. “You’re an art major, and you have an art critique on Friday and you haven’t even started your sketch. You paint landscapes. You were in theatre in high school. You told me once that you haven’t had a girlfriend since middle school. You’re- you’re on antidepressants, and you miss your mom…”

Hyungwon has a hand over his mouth, and when Wonho trails off he looks at him thoughtfully, then drops his hand. “Maybe you’re a stalker,” Hyungwon says, with an edge of humor. Wonho smiles.

“Maybe I am. I understand if you want to tell me to fuck off into oblivion.”

Hyungwon chuckles. “Nah. Even if you are suffering from delusions or whatever, I guess the best I can do is humor you. I mean, you know all this stuff about me, I… My friends don’t even know I’m on antidepressants.” Hyungwon chews the inside of his lip, still looking at Wonho, and then drops his eyes to his hands. “I-- I am planning on killing myself on Friday, because I’ve wanted to ever since I was in high school. I just… I couldn’t, ‘cause of my parents, you know? So since I’m an adult I thought, _well, it’s my life now, I can end it if I want to_. And that’s just… shitty reasoning I guess, but here, I just--” Hyungwon pushes up his sleeves, showing Wonho scars that criss-cross his arms near the elbows. “I haven’t told anybody else this,” Hyungwon explains quietly. He pulls his sleeves down again, and Wonho takes one of his hands in his. “And if you aren’t totally crazy and have to relive this over and over again, I’m sorry, too. Sorry that the gods like, assigned you to save some stupid depressed art kid.”

Wonho smiles, squeezing Hyungwon’s hand. “I’ve come to like you quite a lot, so I promise it’s not a burden.”

Hyungwon returns the smile, and Wonho sees tears shining in his eyes. He then glances around, eyes falling on the clock in the square. “Oh, shit, I’m supposed to meet my roommate for dinner. It takes my slow ass seven years to walk across campus, fuck.” He pulls his sleeves down over his hands and wipes his eyes, then stands. “Sorry to run since we just dumped shit on each other, but Minwoo will bitch about it for weeks if I skip on him again.”

“Don’t worry, I understand,” Wonho replies kindly, standing as well. “Stay safe, okay?”

Hyungwon nods. “Alright, you too.” He leaves with a half-wave and a smile, one that Wonho has grown to love. He remains standing in the square and hopes that he’s done it right, this time.

 

Wednesday comes. Wonho studies for his engineering test next week (god, please let next week be a new week). His mom texts at 9 and he replies to her immediately this time, sending emoji-laden texts. He feels so relieved, because he thinks he’s accomplished whatever strange task was given to him by the powers that be.

Thursday comes. Hyungwon’s cell phone number is written on a piece of folded up paper and laying on Wonho’s desk. Hyungwon does his coy but cute half-wave at Wonho halfway through the exam, which Wonho has once again aced. Wonho texts Hyungwon that night with a winky face, and still feels like he’s done it right.

Friday comes. For the first time, Wonho is with Hyungwon on Friday, sitting at a table in the on-campus grille and play-fighting with him over who gets the last mozzarella stick. They leave the grille at a quarter after eight and Wonho is so happy he could cry. Instead, he asks Hyungwon about how his art project is going, and Hyungwon smiles and says it’s going great.

Wonho wakes up in his dorm the following morning and checks the date. His lockscreen displays _Saturday, November 12th, 2016_ , and also notifies him that he has a text from Hyungwon.

He brushes his teeth alongside Hyunwoo and says, “I stopped having that weird dream. Cool, right?”

Hyunwoo says something, garbled behind toothpaste. Wonho laughs and feels tears in his eyes.


End file.
